I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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