Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
