im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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