I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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