she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
