we have pet lesbian snakes
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
