I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
