I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
