Your face is a jimmy john
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
