do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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