i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
