its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
