you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
