Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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