I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
