Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
