so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
