I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
