I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
