there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
