So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
