Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize