Your tits are I can't wait for
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
