they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
