I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
