You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Send help, water and tortillas.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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