that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
