Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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