this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He kissed a someone with a penis
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
