Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
