I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
That's intense
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
