that's an acceptable place to lick
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sext me about skeletons
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
