My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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