Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
