I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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