At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
