I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
