How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
