Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
