Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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