found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You're like the curious george of whores
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I am available for nakedness
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
