just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
