Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
