You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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