sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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