I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
