I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
