hotel room ftw
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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