Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
