plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
