I wish I could punch you in the face.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
