Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
