My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Found your dick twin last night
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
